Being in recovery involves more than just abstaining from drinking alcohol. If you’re still engaging in self-destructive behaviors and making impulsive decisions that put you at risk of relapse, you might be what’s commonly referred to as a dry drunk. While this term is sometimes criticized as being insulting or demeaning, it refers to an overall attitude that puts a person’s long-term recovery in jeopardy.
Understanding the Dry Drunk
In Alcoholics Anonymous (AA), the term dry drunk is commonly used as slang to describe someone who isn’t drinking but hasn’t fully committed to working the 12-Steps. The term was first used in a 1983 pamphlet by R.J. Solberg, The Dry Drunk Syndrome. A founding member of AA, Solberg described a dry drunk as being plagued with self-defeating thoughts and behaviors.
In a broader sense, a dry drunk is someone who hasn’t addressed the underlying emotional or psychological causes of their addiction. They’re still in denial about the reasons they began to abuse alcohol and often believe the people in their lives who express concern about their addiction-related behaviors are simply exaggerating or overreacting. They don’t hold themselves accountable for their actions and become frustrated when directly questioned about their sobriety.
While everyone is different, it’s common for people to begin drinking as a way to cope with difficult situations in their lives. Alcohol might be a way to avoid dealing with the effects of traumatic events such as child abuse or sexual assault. It might be a way to self-medicate the symptoms of a mental health condition such as depression or an anxiety disorder. Or, drinking to excess might be viewed as a way to combat stress, anger, and other emotions a person feels incapable of dealing with on their own. Understanding what factors led a person to begin abusing alcohol is a crucial part of building the foundation for lasting sobriety.
A dry drunk is engaging in what’s sometimes referred to as white knuckle sobriety. They’ve given up alcohol, but they’re still living their lives in much the same way as they did when they were drinking every day. They’re still going to places where alcohol use is common, and they’re still spending time with people who don’t have their best interests at heart. Their life is like a rollercoaster, and they’re gripping the handrails tight while they wait for it to be over.
On the one hand, the willpower of the dry drunk is impressive. Staying sober is difficult in any circumstance and doing so without a strong support system is even more challenging. However, willpower alone isn’t going to be enough to sustain a lasting recovery. Human beings are not infallible, and willpower isn’t an infinite resource. Sooner or later, the dry drunk will give into temptation and find themselves in a full-blown relapse.
A dry drunk is also likely to still be experiencing many of the negative consequences traditionally associated with addiction. These include:
- Strained relationships with family and friends
- Poor performance at work or school
- Feelings of loneliness and isolation
- Lack of hope for the future
In some cases, the dry drunk may end up swapping one addiction for another. This could be a different addictive substance or a process addiction such as shopping or gambling.
Making the Most of Every Day
Often, a dry drunk doesn’t believe that it’s possible to live a fulfilling life without alcohol. They may have stopped drinking to please a spouse or loved one, but have yet to acknowledge the full extent of the problems alcohol has caused in their life. Instead of focusing on building a better future, they’re still in mourning for what they believe they’ve lost. Finding a way to move past this resentment is the first step towards a healthy sobriety.
At Waypoint Recovery Center, we believe the key to a lasting recovery is healing the mind, body, and spirit. Clients at our South Carolina residential addiction treatment center receive a full continuum of care that incorporates detox, intensive counseling, and holistic treatments designed to promote the development of a wellness-focused lifestyle. They learn to:
- Address the underlying causes of addiction
- Relieve stress in healthy ways
- Process their negative emotions
- Cope with cravings while celebrating the progress they’ve already made in their recovery journey
- Communicate openly and honestly with loved ones
- Build a strong sober support network
- Set goals for a brighter future
When they graduate from residential treatment, our clients have access to intensive outpatient programs and continuing care services that support the transition back to independent living. Our philosophy is based on the belief that each person must face challenges in life and harness their strengths in order to grow. No matter what your future holds, we’re here to help you move forward with confidence so you can realize the full potential of a life free from the burden of addiction.
